{"id":2262,"date":"2025-05-19T14:12:19","date_gmt":"2025-05-19T13:12:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/appsoc.org.uk\/?p=2262"},"modified":"2025-06-04T10:16:57","modified_gmt":"2025-06-04T09:16:57","slug":"what-does-polyamory-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/appsoc.org.uk\/?p=2262","title":{"rendered":"What does polyamory do?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

In this post, Nick J Fox<\/strong> reviews some of the questions that polyamory raises and explores the \u2018poly\u2019 assemblage. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It seems pointless to attempt to answer the question of whether humans are \u2018meant\u2019 to be monogamous or non-monogamous.  How could we possibly know?  Answers to that question will either be based upon prejudices (which of the alternatives fits with their other preferences or beliefs) or by logical inference from a theory such as biological determinism, evolutionary psychology, social constructionism and so on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So for example, we might use evolutionary theory to infer that because, supposedly, males need to spread their genes widely, consequently they will be oriented to non-monogamy. Women, meanwhile, will want the greatest opportunity to have others to share the burden of child-rearing.  (This theory can \u2018explain\u2019 most anything!)  By contrast, Freudian theorists would conclude from the heterosexual oedipal triangle (mummy \u2013 daddy \u2013 me<\/em>) that monogamy is a self-perpetuating form within which human sexuality is relatively successfully managed (with other forms producing neuroses). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One can come up with countless theories to explain the same data, and the choice of one theory over another cannot be made without recourse to some external criterion. (This is the \u2018under-determination of theory<\/a>\u2019 problem in the philosophy of science.)  Typically, in science, the external criterion is supposed to be the test of theory by experiment, but that is not really available when it comes to human sexuality, at least at a population level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Does poly work?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Elizabeth Sheff\u2019s (2013) blogpost on polyamory<\/a> avoided this question of the \u2018naturalness\u2019 or otherwise of polyamory, but instead asked the more interesting question \u2018does it work?\u2019  Reasons one might adopt a polyamorous lifestyle included that one wants:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u2018\u2026 to examine your feelings and discuss them in detail with others, like trying new things, enjoy sharing; find yourself falling in love with more than one person at a tim;, have a high sex drive and\/or want sexual variety; are willing to use safer sex techniques; and most importantly are open to the idea of honest non-monogamy.’<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

She argued that it can work, in terms of managing human sexual desire and need for emotion al intimacy, but like other relationships it can go badly wrong. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sheff\u2019s approach was more psychological than sociological, however, and didn\u2019t really look at poly as a social institution.\u00a0 The sense of her paper is that in a Western secular, (neo)liberal culture, people can do what they like so that\u2019s not a problem either.\u00a0 Meanwhile, Meg-John Barker looked at some of the opportunities and social consequences of being in a polyamorous (or \u2018poly\u2019) relationship in her 2005 Journal of Constructivist Psychology<\/em> paper<\/a>.\u00a0 Participants in their research study presented it as a more feminine way of managing relationships: enabling open communication, the expression of emotions, and the availability of a supportive network. \u00a0Poly can also supply heterosexual women with the means to challenge gendered power issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Barker found that polyamory was a potentially stigmatising behaviour and identity, with some participants reticent to disclose their relationship status to others.  Poly could be threatening to those for whom monogamy was a deeply embedded social norm, while also blurring the boundaries between \u2018friends\u2019 and \u2018lovers\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Assembling poly<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

I want to tweak the debate a little further now, to ask instead \u2018what does polyamory do?  By that I mean, what effects does poly have on bodies, body-parts and collectivities of bodies, subjectivities, emotions, actions, social formations, cultural beliefs, powers; what flows, forces, intensities and resistances does it produce? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some of the physical, emotional and psychological flows between elements are no different in this poly assemblage than in a mono intimate relationship. \u00a0But adding a third or more people contributes complexity to the flows, to the vectors of forces. \u00a0At the simplest level, there will be physical effects in terms of the spatial organisation of bodies in households, bedrooms, beds etc.\u00a0 New emotions may flow too: jealousies, envies, rivalries and so on.\u00a0 It produces new challenges for the public face of relationships \u2013 Barker\u2019s (2005) \u2018this is my partner … and my partner\u2019s partner\u2019.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it also has profounder effects. Poly assemblages overturn the atavistic binary formulation that infects both hetero- and homo-monogamous relationships that hark back to the model of heterosexual marriage. \u00a0They fracture the privatised world of the couple: the closed realm of sexual intimacy and emotion that can be protective but also exploitative and sometimes violent.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Poly also poses all sorts of sociological questions about how society and culture has been organising around binary relationships, for instance in terms of children\u2019s upbringing, care, housing and so forth.\u00a0 Is the global expansion of capitalism partly due to a mode of social organisation that has privatised sexual, emotional and family relationships within self-contained and inwardly-looking household units?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These questions invite us to consider whether poly is actually a more enabling arrangement than monogamy for adult humans. Is monogamy actually little more than manogamy<\/em> \u2013 one among many social techniques by which men have sought to control female sexualities for millennia?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These are among the many interesting and research-worthy issues raised by polyamory. It warrants far greater sociological study and application, as more than simply a choice made by three or more people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nick J Fox is a former convenor of the Applied Sociology Group and professor of sociology at the University of Huddersfield.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In this post, Nick J Fox reviews some of the questions that polyamory raises and explores the \u2018poly\u2019 assemblage. It seems pointless to attempt to answer the question of whether humans are \u2018meant\u2019 to be monogamous or non-monogamous.  How could we possibly know?  Answers to that question will either be […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2269,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,29,30,32,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2262","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-families","category-gender","category-problems","category-theory","category-uncategorised"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/appsoc.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2262","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/appsoc.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/appsoc.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/appsoc.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/appsoc.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2262"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/appsoc.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2262\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2279,"href":"https:\/\/appsoc.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2262\/revisions\/2279"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/appsoc.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2269"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/appsoc.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2262"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/appsoc.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2262"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/appsoc.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2262"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}